Martin Luther King, Jr. Sings in Memphis

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2nd Tattoo maybe?

So I think I may be going against my word of a. getting more than one tattoo and b. getting a tattoo that's pretty popular...but the concept is awesome and is relevant to me, (not to mention I reallllly like the way it looks.)

The treble and bass clef heart, here's a picture of the "starting point" because of course with all things I do in life, it has to have my own personal taste thrown in as well ;)

Just about sums it up

• More relationship fun as feelings grow stronger :D
• Got rear ended by a sheriff (not fun)
• Lost my keys (a week ago, still lost, using spares)
• Still can't go back to work
• Broke as hell (see above)
• Bored as hell (see above)
• Missing my monkeys
• Stuck here watching Twilight and New Moon
• Playing Sorority Life and Amateur Surgeon 2
• Surfing aimlessly on ebay and Amazon and craigslist
• Wishing I could run away but not wanting to leave...

Adulthood Training (apparently still in session)

So much of my adulthood relationship training i.e. teenage years were clouded in secrecy, keeping everyone in the dark and making sure my relationships were barely ever mentioned mostly because a certain guy may have been a little too old for me or because another guy was a jerk who didn't want us to be public...Now that the teen years are gone and the adult years are in full effect there's a new type of secrecy, one not imposed by "him" but one that tried its best to be imposed by my own politeness. Only I know whats best for ME, not you or you or you. I know it might hurt a bit to see me with someone else but it makes no sense for ME not to share my happiness with the rest of the world just because I'm scared of hurting someone else's feelings. I don't want to be mean but I have to enjoy my life, I have to take care of ME and I have to make sure I'M on the right track, politeness can only go so far, its up to YOU to protect your own feelings. Because I just can't.

Taco Soup, Pickles, and Double Chocolate Klondike Bars

Got off work today at 10...lots of hours but geez! Woulda been nice to see someone besides Kevin! lmao (Oh, by the way, Kevin is my new housemate/jail bird, Jessica and I have done a lot for this guy over the past few months, he's a lucky mo-fo...)

Dinner was awesome last night (of course it was, I made it lol) homemade taco soup with nachos and sour cream. Myke loved it, went back for seconds :) and Kevin got to meet his man crush finally lmao!

So far I've got this new affinity for double chocolate Klondike bars and man do they deliver! And Harris Teeter had them on BOGO!!!! Oh and Kevin brought this, like, 12 gallon jar of pickles from his ex-home lol so we had pickles. Its been so long since I had a whole pickle, I almost forgot how good they were lol
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well thats all for now, I'm so sleepy.

ElastiGirl

So I went to Maryland to see my monkey and the 2nd generation of monkeys, Scarlett :) She is the most darling little girl ever and I can't wait to go back to see her again!

Work at Aldi today was hell, not because I didnt want to be there but because I literally didn't get the memo that inventory was tonight....we clocked out somewhere around 11:30...needless to say my body feels like painful mush...

My dog won't stop eating nasty stuff (like cat poop and fish that were once swimming in an aquarium earlier today...) and throwing up everywhere because of it...This is why I don't let her lick me...

Bills...enough said...

I can't wait til Friday night.

I'm stretched...

THE BEST COMMERCIAL EVER

New Doggie New Doggie! Her name is Nala :) New House! New God-Daughter! :D

Nala is the new love of my life, I rescued her January 27th from the SPCA. She's a Boxer, approximately 3 years old, fawn and white fur. She was 35 pounds when i got her and now she's about 38 pounds. It was magic, I saw her and I knew she had to come home with me and she did! She was sick and tiny when i got her and well now she's just tiny lol Still trying to fatten her up a bit but she can only have certain foods so its difficult to find things she can have and stuff she likes. She started out with this Capt'n Crunch looking hypo-allergenic food and she HATED IT lol but now she's got wet food and she's in doggie heaven :)

New Place! I moved mid Feb. and the place still looks like I just moved lol still in need of some things but I really do enjoy this place.

New God-daughter! Scarlett was born to Tasha and Tye March 4th very premature and I just hope whoever is reading this blog will pray for her well being. She's just beautiful and I can't wait to meet her in April

Full update coming soon. I've been stressed but blessed. thanks for lookin out for me Pat, you always come thru :)

Funny funny funny

Craigslist Registry! teehee

Hey for the, like, 10 of you that read my blog! (its probably only 3 but I'm being hopeful :)

Its time for me to move into my new apartment and I have my very own Craigslist Registry! LMAO! Here's the list of all the wonderful things you could get me for house warming! ***Disclaimer: Craigslist does NOT have an official registry but I think it would be f-awesome if they did!)

$55 This is a beige chair-and-a-half that would be soooo comfy, a little attention goes a long way!
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1543346614.html

$40 Tre' Cute :)
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1520498163.html

$20?! Go get it for me now! lol
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1542343085.html

$50 Entertainment center thats just perfect (I'd restain it much much darker though)
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1549691882.html

$100 My Favorite Dining Room Table
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1551332855.html
***or***
$60 2nd favorite table
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1554175890.html
***or***
$75 Silver Pub Table
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/fuo/1551128321.html



I'm also trying to find two small cube brown leather ottomans if anyone wants to be a gem and find some fore me!

So now that you know what I want, GO GET IT BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES!  hehehe :)

Oh God,

I have no idea what I'm doing anymore! My life is headed in a good direction career wise but everything else seems to be....uncertain. I want so badly to have the things in life that make life meaningful but I just feel like I'm missing something...I know I haven't been trying hard enough to build my relationship with Yod and I know that's what I'm missing...I'll read my bible tonight and I'm going to church Sunday morning.

Dreamworld

The color lyrics are my exact sentiments...


I would be you, you would be me, we would be one, we would be just fine
The ice caps wouldn't be melting and neither would I, mmh
I would just drive my big old car, and everything would be alright
And energy would just fall down right from the sky, yeah

Words would fly right from out of my mind, out of my mind into your heart, into your life
And everything would sound just right, and no one would stop me from drinking my wine

That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, it's more than a dream
My dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, and I wanna live in my dream,

Oh the real world just don't feel right
I wouldn't spend my days searching for, searching for lost time, I wouldn't be so damn sensitive, I'd let things go by
No matter what the weather, I'd learn to change, I'd change with the time,

And everytime I need a woman, she'd appear right by me
She hold me tight, treat me right, and tell me that everything is gonna be, is gonna be alright, alright

That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld

I would tell Van Gogh that he was loved, there's no need to cry
I would say Marvin Gay your father didn't want you to die (dream)
There would be no black and white, the world just treat my wife right
We could down in Mississipi and no one would look at us twice,

That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, it's more than a dream
That's my dreamworld, that's my dreamworld, and I wanna live in my dream

Soundtrack for the Last 5 to7 days

Flowers in Bloom Robin - Thicke
Russian Roulette - Rhinna
Somebody Come Get Me - Melanie Fiona
Take a Bow - Rhianna
Dreamworld - Robin Thicke
How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - Al Green

added a day later:

Complicated - Robin Thicke

Favorite Piece of Today

There isn't one.

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The Mirror of Erised

The cessation of unnecessary stress. A fully functional and cosmetically appealing 'Blondie.' A stable career that doesn't superimpose itself over my personal time with my family. In due time, a surname that is no longer 'Wade,' and a "belly full of baby." To be surrounded by those whom I love and love me the most.

I most desperately desire a life of peace and love and comfort.

So freakin cute!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Christmas yay!

 So ready for Christmas! My tree was up two weeks ago, can't wait! I'll take pics later.

P.S. Brandon wants his freakin health care Obama! lmao (he secretly has a man crush on the president. OK OK! I'm the one who has the crush but Brandon's jealous so don't tell him!!!)

Favorite Piece of Today

"I love you"
"I love you more"
I love you to the moon"
"I love you to the end of the universe"
I love you to the end of the multiverse"
[theres no such thing as a multiverse!] "I love you to God and you go any farther than that!"
"I love you to God and back"
"Ok you got me...hehehe. I love you, goodnight"
"I love you too, goodnight."

$2 Hugs?

xoxoxoxo

"...you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you, you'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much, at long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive, you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you..."--Lauren Hill (first song sang to him)

"... you're different and special...you're special in every way imaginable, you love me from my hair follicles to my toenails, you got me feelin like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and me..." --Jill Scott (second song sang to him)

Current Feelings as summed up via response to Jessica's post :-P

You know damn well I don't understand that last sentence...lol

And I hear what you're saying. (there's no "but" to follow)

I also know that my instinct+listening to God has never led me down a path I'm not supposed to be on. Falling hard is what I do when I'm supposed to be on a certain path (regardless of the length of time I'm supposed to be on it). This could very well be a seasonal path for me but that's for time to tell. Right now I'll call it Strength Conditioning...

Punk'd

I really really really hope I'm being punk'd by Ashton Kutcher...but I know I'm not. It seems like regardless of how many new things come into the picture, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MORE! I'm not mad at YOU, I'm mad at the situations that keep coming up! I just cannot understand how these things keep happening...How many bumps and bruises must I take to make this work? I'm a very understanding person, so how much MORE understanding do I have to be for all this to make sense?

PLEASE GOD, take control over this situation, only You know whats best for us.

When? How?

When did all this happen?
How did I find my way into this drama?
When will it all go back to normal?
How does this affect those around me?
When will it be resolved?
How will it be resolved?

When we we learn?

***Beware, Very Obscene Language***

That stupid fucking bitch just called me on my phone with a private fucking number as if I dont have her fucking number?!?!?! What the fuck is wrong with that stupid fucking whore cow dog bitch? I haven't done ANYTHING  to her! Haven't wanted harm to come to her but she just had to be such a stupid bitch and stalk me on fucking facebook! fucking bitch! bitch bitch bitch BITCH BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its not my fault she wants to be with someone that doesnt want her! There are way too many violent thoughts going through my head. Please dont put me in jail for my thoughts but I would LOVE to cut her face up, feed it to a dog, get the left-over pieces and sew them back on with a poison coated needle!

maybe

Maybe I'll study more tonight
Maybe I'll organize my room a bit
Maybe I'll make a budget plan
Maybe I'll find a better job

Maybe I'll bake some pumpkin bread
Maybe I'll be fine.

.........

Fine.

Montage Hodge-podge Collage

First day back to work and I can tell my body just doesn't take long to adjust to being lazy but when its vice versa it yells at me! Time to get back into "work mode" and reverse the process of muscle deterioration...lmao

Halloween came and went like "that," no kids to give candy to, again....and Hillsboro St. was mildly entertaining I guess cuz we got there late. Oh well its not like I was planning on doing anything anyway :)

New Phone!!!! (again lol) I had the best stroke of luck in my frugal living, my 30-day trial period was up on the day the Tour came to us cellular and I miraculously had the money to pay the difference in exchange for it! Yay!

And the withdrawal pains are not backing off, I thought they would but they're not, my human drug is 300 miles away and I wont get another hit until God-knows-when....The good thing is at least he's not illegal! teeheehee

Favorite Piece of today:

B: [can't wait till he sees Adell again]  <---he's always making me smile

Poker Face

Thinking about all the things that go on around us and in us, I realize that we too often times become the poker faces that we put on. Not only are we outwardly inaccessible, we wall ourselves up on the inside as well so even those who SHOULD have access can get in.

Just a thought provoked by Lady Gaga of all people....